Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Last Lecture

DOn't freak out!!! It's an assignment for a class and i decided to share with you. I AM NOT GOING TO DIE ANY TIME SOON ON ACCOUNT OF MY ACTIONS. Chill.

God is a Psychopath
By Lexie Eakett

When I was just wee little lad, I had the most amazing goldfish EVER!! And because of my small brain and poor judgment, I named them Adam and Eve. Not too long after the happiest day of my young life, you know the day I got my beautiful, amazing, wonderful fish… they died.
Some whiles later, not too long after but not too short either… I had another greatest day ever. I got Hermit Crabs. Waii and Kiki, quite possibly the greatest animals/crustaceans ever. And then… Waii Died. Shortly thereafter, Regis was bought! He, unfortunately, was a little bit retarded so I traded him for Baby! Then… they died, But don’t you fret… Some years later, for my 14th birthday actually, Skippy, Eleanor and Bill come into my life. About a year later, they kicked the freakin’ bucket too. Stupid crabs.
For discretions sake, I should probably change her name… so we’ll call her… Hannah. She was a witch of a girl. But somehow we remained friends from 2nd grade ALL the way to 8th. Ugh. Hate her. Stupid back stabbing, bitchy, two faced, should probably burn in hell teenage girls.

Other Girls/ People Who I Would Not be Sad to See Dead…
(I changed your names so STFU)
Butch: You tried to steal my boyfriend and you don’t even like boys.
Lisa: You tried to steal my boyfriend because you are too hopeless to get your own without putting out. And even then it’s pretty damn difficult, isn’t it?
Mary: You are a whore. Stop it.
Liz: You are stupid. You Can’t make your own friends so you convince MINE that I’m not good enough. Go to Hell.
Jonathan: You PRETENDED to cheat on me? WTF mate.
Marie: Seriously? You are “Trying to stick up for your sister” by calling me a whore? Sweetheart, you can’t call me that. How many pregnancy scares have YOU had in the last year? And you’re how old? 15? Yeah…

Okay. Now that that part is out of the way…
Mom: I know we fought a lot more then we should have, but I want you to know how much I truly love and appreciate you. You have been there for me through everything, even if I was too stupid to see how big of a sacrifice you were making to help me. You are my best friend and I am so sorry I’m leaving you this early. I love you.
Moses: Thank you for all you did for me. I’m sorry that it was so hard to show how much I appreciated you.
Jayden: I love you so much Jayd. I’m so sorry won’t be there to help you through all your heartaches and celebrate the good times. I am going to miss you so much. You are such an amazing little brother. don’t cry, I’ll be close to you always. I love you Thomas.
Jamahl: Oh Jam. I Love you so much. I know we didn’t always get along so great, but you are an amazing sweet little boy and I know you are going to grow up to be the best in what you choose to do. You are such a great little brother and I am going to miss watching you grow up. I love you Jam.
Emma: You are the little sister I’ve always wanted, even if you are a little bit crazy. Keep your chin high, lady, don’t let anyone break your heart, they aren’t worth it. You are a princess and I love every crazy part of you. I’ll miss you so much Emma Afia. I hope you won’t forget me
Megan, TJ and Tommy: Love you all so so so much. You never cease to make me smile and I love you for that more then you can possibly know.
Kelly, Anno, Tyce and Macie: You guys are so amazing and I love you. Tycie Bug, you are so amazing and Macie Rae, I really wish I had more time to get to know you. I love you so much.
Michael: Thank you for everything. I know you are going through some rough times, but you always manage to keep your chin up. I love you so much.
Zo: I love you with everything I have. I am going to miss your songs and your laugh and you telling me how much yo love me every chance you get. I’m sorry I broke my promise and I am leaving before it’s REALLY my time, but you know I’ll be close to you always and I’ll be looking over Leilani and Sea Monkey.
Grandma and Grandpa: You are so amazing. You sacrifice a lot, and would give anything and everything for another person in need. I love you more then I can possibly tell you and it breaks my heart that I don’t get more time with you. I love you both. Keep Celebrating J
I’ve Lived a good life, so please don’t cry when I’m gone. My time with all of you has been priceless and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Thank you so much for all of the things you all have done for me and all of the hard times you have helped me through. I love you all.


Kelly said...

Okay, not freaking out...but crying. Is that weird? Love you too Lexa!

mandi_berim said...

And the Mom can cry too!!! I love you too little Lady....Don't you ever do anything Crazy!!

Meg and T.J. said...

Sick, sick, sick. That is so sick. Other aunt also crying. I LOVE you and I can't live without you.

Rae said...

OK I heard about this post but didn't want to read it til today....yup now here I am at work crying! Not funny Lex - I go before you....years from now! My heart would for sure break if something happened to you! Love ya so much!
:-) grandma